I work with heterosexual, queer, monogamous and polyam/ethical non-monogamous couples wanting to break down assumptions, expectations and restrictive roles in their relationship.
In couples work I help people explore the narratives that they've unconsciously and unwillingly brought into the relationship (such as from their upbringing) to then collectively transform those limiting expectations into 'information' that guides meaningful change.
The goal is always to inspire deeper connection - first and foremost connection to ourselves. When separated from ourselves our spark is dimmed - we seek to please others, voice our views less, struggle to assert boundaries, avoid self-accountability, go for what's safe over what's fulfilling and procrastinate on making moves that could transform our lives for the better. When we better connect with our own values, dreams and preferences we can make decisions that align with who we are. From there, our relationships become more authentic and your full self-expression is liberated and celebrated.
Core texts that influence my approach to couples work are: 'Non-Violent Communication' by Marshall Rosenberg and 'Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples' by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Overarching concepts around human connection are also inspired by Johan Hari's 'Lost Connections' and 'Collective Narrative Practice' by David Denborough. My approach is also shaped by supervision with Jill Freedman, a narrative practitioner that worked closely wth Michael White in the early days when narrative therapy was emerging.