How I explain “dysregulation” and burnout as an AuDHD Relationship Therapist

You can’t self-regulate because you’re so burnt out but making long-lasting changes that allow you to finally recover from burnout requires you to first be regulated…

This is the catch 22, and it can feel incredibly frustrating and futile. As a late-diagnosed AuDHDer myself, here’s the way I learned to see things that helped me. Especially when putting pressure on myself to make the “right” decisions in life.

Dys-regulated just means dis-connected from self.

To self-regulate means to reconnect back in with ourselves.

When we’re dysregulated/disconnected we make decisions from:

• fear

• shame

• insecurities

• external expectations (performing a version of who we “should” be, AKA masking)

Whereas making decisions from a regulated/connected place means leading with:

• our values

• what gives us meaning

• purpose

• what brings us joy

When we do, the decisions we make shape our lives and relationships into what’s authentic and aligned with who we truly are. And any changes or new things we implement (such as to address our burnout once and for all) are more sustainable and long-lasting.

That’s not to say it doesn’t come with its own challenges - standing by our values with conviction requires accepting the compromises that come when we do!

Please stop attempting to move mountains in your life and expecting way too much from yourself when you haven’t even regulated yourself back to baseline first.

Make that the priority, then from there you can make more aligned decisions.

If you’re wanting support navigating this catch 22 and getting out of your burnout cycle, you’re most welcome to book in for a free intro call and we can discuss working together.